originally written on March 16, 2020

Watching the news has its perks. It’s entertaining to say the least. Seeing people in droves, ransacking supermarkets and fighting over a tissue roll triggered memories I wish to keep dead.

I’ve been to a lot of countries, and while the majority of my experiences abroad are good, the bad ones always involve horrible bathroom stories. To make the story short, I’m not one who can walk the stretch of a mall, or strut my stuff in the office floors, knowing I only wiped my ass after I pooped. I just can’t. My demons rarely sing in chorus, but when it comes to toilet business, they are in unison in telling me I have to wash it. That happened more than once, and believe me, it’s terrifying.

It’s hard because we Filipinos are used to our beloved tabo. I spent almost a decade in Dubai and was used to using bidets. When you’re used to this, travelling to the US or UK becomes extra difficult, especially if it’s your first time. Over there, toilet tissue is king. Not sure how our American, British and Australian friends can live by just wiping and wiping and wiping until it looks clean enough. Sorry friends, let me stereotype just this once. Haha. I do know Filipinos overseas keep a tabo or two, because tabo is life.

Just wiping it off is unhygienic and not very earth friendly. Millions of trees are cut down every year just so you can wipe your asses. So I say this – use tabo, or have a bidet installed. It’s cheaper too.

The world today has too many issues to deal with regarding the corona virus. Let’s take the problem of wiping your ass off the list.